Do not discourage your pastor

Pastors, like all of us, face discouragement over many things; children whose lives are not going well, marriage strained relationships, finances etc. Above all this they have to deal with ‘ministry related’ discouragements caused by the very same people they love and serve.

Some years ago, I made a simple survey asking a number of pastors to share with me ‘straight from their heart’ those things that have the potential to discourage or demoralize them. Below is a list of their answers I compiled and left unedited, with some other later additions. I am certain we could add others and some might seem similar but these are being shared for your prayerful consideration. I recommend that you read each and every point slowly, pausing to think on each point to make sure you understand what is being said, while humbly asking yourself, “Does this refer to me? Am I guilty of this? Do I have this attitude which can potentially discourage my pastor?” Some pastors also noted that the potential for discouragment is increased when the one or more of the following are done over and over again.

• Individuals who faithfully attend all church services, nod and show agreement to the sermons and Bible studies, but rarely put the Word of God in practice.
• People who keep on living and acting, especially in their speech, dress (especially women), and priorities, as if they were never born again.
• Sin is taken lightly and excused.
• Individuals or married couples who do not seek counsel until it's too late, or who ignore the counsel given.
• Comparing their pastor; his sermons and/or pastoral care to another pastor, and worse still naming the other pastor to whom he is compared.
• Absenteeism from or irregular attendance at regular worship services without legitimate reasons.
• Individuals who 'highjack' the pastor every single time after the meeting thus preventing him to give attention to newcomers or those who really are in need of his help.
• Gossip and back-biting.
• People who come to a meeting late, unprepared, tired, ready for sleep, not properly dressed, sitting at the back while all the front seats are empty.
• Individuals who fight progress and growth; refuse to accept change in the church; don’t welcome new people into the church.
• Mobile phones ringing during the service
• Adults chattering before the service starts instead of preparing their minds and heart to meet with Almighty God in worship.
• Poor devotional attitude in the worship of God, with individuals being more as passive spectators than active participators.
• Individuals whispering to one another or even giggling during sermons thinking they are not noticed when in fact it is always the case that the preacher will notice them immediately.
• Individuals who approach the pastor right before the service with trivial matters, theological questions about the Bible, church-related matters, criticisms etc. forgetting that he needs to prepare himself mentally and prayerfully to lead the service and preach the Word.
• Superficial Christians who confine their faith to one or two services per week, limit their worship to 5 or 6 songs per week, and restrict their thinking of Christ to one fifty-minute sermon per week.
• A critical attitude, nitpicking everything that is said or done in the church.
• Veiled criticism. Individuals who start with the dreaded sentence that typically begins with these words: “People are saying that . . .” The full sentence could say; “People are saying that you don’t do enough counselling / pastoral care.” Another example is: “People are saying that our church is not growing.” It could be phrased in a number of other ways, but the meaning is still similar. “People” is never defined. The true complainer is never identified.
• A censorious spirit that judges ill of others' states. These statements are almost always prefaced with a negative comment such as, “Well, you know, the problem with him/her is...”
• Members who leave the church for unsound reasons or simply because something happens that they don’t like.
• Members who in their excessive self-pity always complain of what they are not receiving and never lift a finger to give something to others themselves.
• People who consider themselves perfect - therefore feel no need for any personal corrective action.
• The all-knowing, who never really listen to anything that is said to them.
• Individuals who always remark on everything, and have something to say about all things, even about each and every sermon.
• Unresponsiveness of church members, people hearing but not listening and neither acting.
• Dead orthodoxy: knowledge of biblical truths without love.
• People who never commit themselves to any church work, leaving only a handful to volunteer and do all the work themselves.
• Members who once were committed but choose to leave the church and go back into the world.
• Unmotivated brethren who are not exercising any spiritual gift/ministry.
• Those who, to avoid doing something themselves, put the pastor on a pedestal saying that no one can do the work better than himself.
• Lack of cooperation between members, especially those involved in the same ministry team.
• An attitude of knowing more than the pastor; ex. in areas of discipline and ‘church government’ (decision making).
• People who are not in touch neither with themselves nor with reality.
• A formal show of love, hypocrisy.
• Conflicts, strife, divisions and ‘doctrinal’ arguments between members.
• Christians seem to have time to do everything they please except time to read the Bible, pray, and attend church services.
• When members do not treat a pastor's family members; his spouse and his children, as regular church members, placing unreasonable expectations and criticizing them.
• When members expect all the pastor’s sermons to be stellar.
• When individuals approach the pastor immediately after a sermon and tell him things like: “I wish (fill in the blank) would have heard that sermon,” “Let me tell you what you missed in your sermon, you should have mentioned (fill in the blank),” “Are we ever going to be done with this sermon series?”
• Lack of discipline in one’s walk with the Lord; hardly any prayer, Scripture reading in private.
• Members who are very enthusiastic about their hobbies or careers to the point of always speaking about them before and after the services, but who rarely discuss with a certain amount of zeal spiritual matters about Christ, the church etc.
• ‘Fossilized’ individuals. Years have gone by and they are still ‘babes’ in Christ. No real change or progress towards the ‘mature man’ is evident.

Surely, most pastors know that potential discouragements are part of their calling, and have learnt to deal with them by the grace and mercy of God. These servants of God, and the families that support them, are to be commended for all their years of faithful service.

Please do not take the above points lightly but take them very seriously and to heart. Refer to them every now and then. Remember even if you are guilty of ‘only’ one of the above your pastor might have to handle another one or two different issues form other members, if not more. Therefore, the least you can do is to make sure that you will never be a cause of potential discouragement to your pastor by being guilty of any one of the above. Better still, may you be a source and reason for encouragement. Finally, remember to pray daily for your pastor. It is the number one most effective support you can give him.